Stephanie:
Hello everybody! Thank you so much for joining us. Today I have Melanie Donahue with me. I’m so excited to have her, and I’m not a great hostess, because I forgot to get us water. So hopefully we make through this just fine… I’m like “Oh no! Where’s my water? Oh I didn’t get it…” Anyway so I brought Melanie on because she inspires me because she is my wife, she’s a mother, she juggles it all, she’s beautiful and super smart on top of all of that, and she is a very successful attorney. So that’s inspiring for all those different angles. You know, how do you get to being an attorney and then how do you juggle you know where you want to whether you want to be for your work for yourself or whether you want to work for somebody else? How do you juggle being a wife? How do you juggle being a mother, you know, and be good at those things, right? It’s so tough, because they’re all super hard jobs, and then you kind of mix them all together. How do you learn from somebody who seems to be able to, you know, be real, and at the same time kind of keep a real good grip on everything?
So welcome Melanie! How are you? So tell us about yourself. Tell us, either wherever you want to start, if you want to start about what you do first or just about yourself in general.
Melanie:
You already said a lot! I’m a wife I’m a mom I’m a lawyer, so I also do volunteer work with nonprofits, and I’m just…. Yeah, that’s it! That’s what I do – that’s my life!
Stephanie:
How do you even have time to do all this things, nonprofit as well… and you’re in some of the other some women’s groups I’m drawing a blank on, but there’s some local women’s groups I know you’re in.
Melanie:
Yeah! I mean I think when you really want something, you just make it work, and it’s not until you’re done and you look back at it and you say “Oh my goodness! How on earth did I do that?” And a lot of it has to do with planning. So Sunday is my prep day, okay? You run errands Sunday, you get groceries Sunday, you fix things for the week. Then you also have to have that flexibility for when things change during the week. You say “Okay, well we’re just gonna change things up and keep it going,” but also, I’ve got a great family. My husband is so helpful. The kids, you know, have to have that support system, or it can be near impossible.
Stephanie:
Yes, it takes a village for sure.
Melanie
Yes it does.
Stephanie:
So like on Sunday, do you also have to kind of map out the calendar for the week like, hey, this is where everybody needs to be and all that?
Melanie:
The calendar is updated every day, and it’s on the refrigerator and everyone can see it and it’s like, okay, I’m bringing this kid this place at this time. You have to do dinner tonight. I have to work late, or, you know, we have appointments. So every day, the calendar changes every day. We look at it, and we just deal. I’m just gonna deal and adjust, right?
Stephanie:
Oh my gosh! Well that’s awesome. So it sounds like you need a little bit of organization?
Melanie:
Yes!
Stephanie:
And you need a little bit of flexibility.
Melanie:
Definitely. That’s a big one. Yes, and and you need a good support team!
Stephanie:
Yes so that’s huge – and you probably need, you know, some spare time in there to have little mini meltdowns at some point! And I think we all do at moments, right?
Melanie:
Right exactly!
Stephanie:
Well awesome! So how did you end up becoming a lawyer? What, you know, what kind of drew you to that?
Melanie:
So I know it sounds so cliché, but I was that little girl who, when they said “Oh what do you want to be when you grow up?” I knew I would be be a lawyer! And I don’t know why – it’s kind of… that’s what I wanted to do. I don’t know if it’s because my dad was a policeman, and so that kind of that law side [was there]. I don’t know… but it’s what I always wanted. It was either a lawyer or I wanted to work behind the makeup counter at Dillard’s! There was something that, even as I got older, and I thought I wanted to do other things, it just I kept coming back to that and to do it on my own. So that’s what I always wanted to do.
Stephanie:
That’s awesome! That’s awesome. And what type of law do you practice?
Melanie:
So I’m in civil defense right now. I’ve done a little bit of everything. I started out in government, and then I went into practice on my own, and did a lot of family law. But now I’m in civil defense, and it’s, you know, representing companies and looking over contracts and things like that, and I really enjoy doing that, so that’s where my passion is. When it comes to law, it’s working for businesses, representing businesses. And so I truly enjoy where I am right now!
Stephanie:
That’s really awesome. And I feel like everybody has their own path, and there are different things that work for them, and like for some people, you know, they want to be on their own. Some people want to be self-employed. Some people really want to work for someone else and kind of have, you know, that opportunity as well. So you’ve kind of experienced both, right?
Melanie:
Oh yes, yes, yes.
Stephanie:
And so what did you… what would you say that you kind of loved and…. Hate is too strong a word… like what would you say you enjoyed about each one, but then what maybe kind of drew you to one versus the other type of thing.
Melanie:
So being in private practice I had a lot of flexibility. I was my own boss! It was just mem, and so I could come and go as I pleased, and that worked out really well when the kids were young, and I needed that flexibility. The kids are older now, you know, they I don’t need to be home when they get from school, and so I can now be in a firm. The pros of being an a firm is just working with other people, and the people I work with are great.
Stephanie:
That’s nice!
Melanie:
That’s a huge plus actually, right? And just to be able to, you know, when something’s going on to speak with another person in the firm and kind of bounce ideas, you know, off of them, and also the firm. You know, we have business clients, and that’s what I want – to be able to have that every day, that consistency, basically.
Stephanie:
I really enjoy that, because everybody’s different. Like, there’s some people I know that they, you know, work on their own, or even they work for someone and they can work from home, right? I’m not a good worker from home, like at all. You know what, I mean… when I’m in a different zone in a different mood in a different environment, I’m really good to work, like, in my office, you know, and so that’s probably different – being able to work from your home or even just a small office on your own versus going into like the busyness and the fun and excitement of moving and shaking, you know, when you’re working for a big company.
Melanie:
Right! Well, I definitely am working a lot more now, and I think part of it is that I have an office to go to. I enjoy what I’m doing, and where I was working from home it was like, “Oh I need to go get dinner started… all right I need to do laundry…” There are so many distractions when you work from home. Some people have the discipline for that, and I don’t know. So I’m definitely working a lot more, and I’m a lot more focused on what I’m doing without having all their home distractions.
Stephanie:
Right – exactly! Well, I always like to talk about what you do and how that brings joy to others, right? And it’s super interesting how everybody’s so different, right? So like someone gets joy from, like, cleaning their house, and someone gets joy from, you know, producing a work product, and someone gets joy from being super creative and making something, right? Everybody’s so different, you know? So for you, for yourself and even bringing joy to others, you know, how do you feel that or… what part of what you do you do brings joy to others? What I mean, because it doesn’t sound – again everybody’s totally different, right? So what is that for you?
Melanie:
I get to review contracts!
Stephanie:
Like, they can’t see you, but you are so excited! Your face lights up! It’s like, so much thought! I don’t like contracts. It’s a “no, I don’t want to you know!” kind of thing. So how would you say, like, kind of what you’re doing and everything is bringing joy to yourself, and then also joy to others as well?
Melanie:
Well, you know, the legal system can be very scary. It can be confusing. To be able to hand that off to someone else who understands the system, who enjoys working in the system, and enjoys looking at different aspects of things, it gives a sense of relief to people. Also, when you’re in the legal system, it’s personal to you, and you’re emotional, it can stress you. So to be able to hand that off to an attorney who says, “I’m gonna take care of this. Let me help you, alright?” That right there just relieved so much attention for a person knowing they’re not alone and they have someone looking out for their interests. And there is nothing like having a client who comes to you and you can just see the tension and you can see that they’re scared and to, when you’re at the end of the conversation and it’s just it’s gone, you can see the relief! And knowing that I was able to bring that person to that place, I mean… it’s very gratifying.
Stephanie:
Yeah, yeah! Because the unknown is so scary, you know? I mean if you don’t know what that means you’re like “oh my gosh! This is this big scary contract, and what does it mean, and what’s gonna happen?” And then you kind of come and you’re like, “Well, let me just explain it to you. It’s actually not as intimidating as it seems,” you know? So on and so forth.
Melanie:
Exactly! And in the Family Law room, because I did that for a few years, I can remember one of my very first cases. It was a dad, and he had a newborn just a few months old, and he couldn’t see his newborn. He was distraught, and he was like, “I just want to see my son,” right? And so I helped to navigate the system. I helped him get to a point where he could see his son again, and I mean, that’s like so life-changing!
Stephanie:
It is!
Melanie:
You know, that was years ago, and I see pictures of them now on their fishing trips, and this and it! Just… it makes me smile, because I know I had a part in helping that happen, right? And so it’s just knowing that you’re helping people, whether it be something simple and technical like helping them understand their contract or uniting a dad with his son. I mean, it’s just, that’s a great thing!
Stephanie:
That is really, really cool! I mean, you know, again, you don’t think about things from those angles when you’re not the person doing that, but that’s so cool, because you can think, I mean, gosh… can you imagine? Like your child is such an extension of you, so to, like, not be able to like see or touch that… oh my gosh, like that’s just so crazy!
Melanie:
Yeah, so crazy!
Stephanie:
So that’s a huge, like, a huge life-changing, bringing joy to a family kind of thing, you know, that you get to be involved in!
Melanie:
Oh gosh… yeah. Absolutely.
Stephanie:
That is so cool! Well what would you say, like, if you were to give advice to anyone listening – it could be a male, could be female, could be whatever, but just advice on how to know what’s right for you. Like, let’s say, you know, maybe it is a young attorney just getting out of law school and wanting to do something like how do they know where to start? How do they know like “I’m gonna like this versus that,” and maybe they need to try both, but I don’t know… What advice do you have?
Melanie:
For me, I always wanted to be a lawyer, and then I’m in law school, and things happen along the way. You’re on this journey. So I’m in LA, so I went to law school in Michigan, and I had a one-year-old, and I wasn’t ready to put him in daycare. Well I was fortunate – I found a school that allowed me to go to classes on Saturdays and Sundays. I would stay with him during the weeks. So when things like that happen you think, “Okay, well maybe this is what I’m supposed to do,” right? But then you also have those little hiccups along the way. So my third year of law school, I moved back to Louisiana, and everyone said, “Oh you’re never gonna finish!” I had to fly to Michigan every weekend to finish law school.
Stephanie:
Oh my God! How long is that? Like I have no sense of direction… So how long is a, you know, a flight like?
Melanie:
Well it depends so if you’re trying to get the cheapest flight flying every week, so yes, it could take all day. But at the school I went to, if you missed more than two classes, you failed. So here I am… I’m relying on these airlines, you know? My mantra every weekend, running through these airports, “Failure is not an option,” right? There was a blizzard, and you know, they said, “we can’t get you there.” I told them “You need to get me as close as you can” So I forget where I flew to, but the next thing you know, I’m in a rental car driving through a blizzard.
Stephanie:
Oh my gosh!
Melanie:
I got to Michigan in time to make it to my class in the morning! So, you know, there’s hiccups. There’s things that happen, right? But I think that, you know, you’re moving in the right direction when you don’t let those things stop you from keeping going, you know? As a lawyer, for a little while, I thought I was doing the wrong thing, you know? Maybe I wasn’t supposed to do this. Maybe this isn’t… Maybe this isn’t my passion, right? And then this opportunity with this new firm came up, and I said, “Okay I’m doing this!” And I’m so happy, and I realized it, you know, this is what I wanted to do. This is why I wanted to do it. So if you’re meant to do it, the opportunity is going to present itself to you over and over. And all those hiccups that you have along the way, they’re just gonna make you appreciate it more when you accomplish that goal that you set for yourself, right?
Stephanie:
Exactly! I agree with that, and I think, you know, sheer determination comes to mind, because, you know people that are listening and, you know, some people do find excuses, right? I mean, and that you going through all that you did to get to a class, you know… some people are like, “I don’t feel good today,” or “I’m tired,” you know or whatever, “I’m sad,” or… you know what I mean? Or “The causeway has fog,” for people who are, you know live around here, and they don’t go to drive through Slidell instead or whatever… you know, and so ultimately, that’s up to you if you’re gonna have that sheer determination to truly make it happen and show up, no matter what, you know? No matter what kind of obstacles that come your way and, you know, when you have that determination and you’re putting that energy into it, it’s amazing the opportunities that will open up for you.
Melanie:
Yeah, you know, just putting that energy out there, that positive energy out there, it’ll happen, right? You just have to tell yourself failure is not an option, right?
Stephanie:
Exactly! Gosh – I can relate to that for sure. Anything else that you want to share about yourself or share with other people that they might be able to get something from in our conversation today?
Melanie:
Don’t forget to take time for yourself, you know? Failure is not an option, but at the same time, if you aren’t taking care of yourself, you’re not going to have the energy to pursue those goals and pursue those dreams, and you’ll just wear yourself out, right? For me, a big thing I have is to have a day each week where I’m finding, you know my peace and my quiet, whether it be just reading a book or listening to some music. I love going on hikes – just being outdoors. You have to find that time for yourself, or you will just run yourself down.
Stephanie:
Yes and that’s true, I mean, because I think… and you know, I’m a woman, so I can’t really speak for everyone, but I think that a lot of moms really struggle with that. You know, I’m saying to myself, like, “Well, if I go out to dinner with my friends, I’m gonna feel bad, because, you know, my child is at home,” or “Oh, you know, if I go get that facial that someone actually already paid for me, you know like then I’m feeling bad because I’m leaving my child,” or “You know, oh I’m gonna go to the movies, you know, by myself, you know, by myself, but I don’t wanna leave my husband,” or whatever, right?
Melanie:
Definitely! I mean, for me, those thoughts are always there. When things come up, I have to remind myself that, hey – I’m important too! My inner peace is important. If I don’t take that time, everything else is going to just fall apart! I’m not gonna be a nice mom, right?
Stephanie:
Oh my gosh – so true! It just makes you a better person when you take that time!
Melanie:
Yeah! Because self-care… I think some people look at it as selfishness, and it’s not. It’s like basic freakin’ maintenance, you know what I’m saying? Like, you’ve got to put the oxygen mask on first before you put it on other people, right? Yeah if you can’t take care of yourself, how are you gonna find the time and energy to take care of all those around you and all those things around you? That’s so, so important.
Stephanie:
Yes! So hopefully people will get, you know, out of this conversation that you’ve got to have sheer determination and accept help when you can get it, because I think a lot of us also struggle with accepting the help that’s offered, because, oh – you’re supposed to do everything yourself, and you’re supposed to do everything for your husband, you’re just doing everything for your child, and you’re supposed to be everywhere for everybody, and you’re not supposed to spend down here for yourself.
Melanie:
I will say this – you know you gave me great advice. I am one of those people – I hate to ask for help, and I don’t know why, I’ve just always been that way, and things can be very overwhelming if you don’t ask for help. And I can remember one day sitting at lunch with you and you saying, “If you don’t ask, how will they know, right?” And when I start to see myself get overwhelmed, I just remind myself of that, and like, all right… if I just ask and it’s amazing, how just asking someone to help you… and they do, you know, because a lot of times, they actually want to help you, you know, but they don’t know how, or that you even need it, right? So yes – definitely asking for help. That’s something that’s very difficult for me, and I struggle with that. I’m still learning how to do it, but it’s so important.
Stephanie:
Yeah it really is. I agree 100%. Well let me ask you these last five things – the last year five “favorites.” So do you have a favorite podcast or YouTube channel that you tune into a lot”
Melanie:
So I guess I’m a little old-school, and not all the time, but I am still. You know, the kids are always looking at YouTube channels, and I have people telling me about podcasts. I’m still learning, you know, I’m open to recommendations!
Stephanie:
Okay! Well, what I have found is a few interesting things. Number one is you can access podcast a bunch of different ways, and you can search by category, right? So I’ve been able to kind of search out and just maybe whatever I need that particular day, right? Like whatever it might be, and then they’re really great because they might be, you know, sometimes 15 to 45 minutes, so it’s like you can do it while you’re working out, you can listen while your husband watches football. If you don’t watch football, you know, or you can listen you know while you’re commuting somewhere or whatever, so I just kind of jump around with that, you know? And then with YouTube, I’ve really become a lot more familiar with it, honestly, just in like the last six months. Before, I wasn’t using it too much, but again, it’s so wonderful, because there’s so much good information out there! Daily motivation for today, or how the heck do you start a podcast, or, you know what I mean? How do you balance work and life? And so you can kind of get, you know, feedback and kind of and watch different videos and stuff. So that’s pretty cool. It’s kind of what I’ve been doing, and then you know, reading, of course, it’s always fun. Meditation is necessity. What about your favorite book?
Melanie:
I have two favorites: One is “The Art of Happiness” by the Dalai Lama. You know, just to hear it gives you a new way of looking at things. When things seem difficult, it just gives you a new perspective! You know, for instance, like let’s say you’re driving through traffic, and someone’s just driving like a complete idiot, just sit back, and instead of getting angry with that person, which is what you know we’re prone to do, to say “You know what? Maybe his wife’s having a baby, right? And he’s trying to get there,” or “Maybe she just got a call that her son is very sick, and so she’s trying to get to the school.” So it’s about really just opening your mind and trying to look things at a different way and in a way that it helps you really stay sane, because not everything is bad, and so it really encourages you to look at things in just a more positive way. That’s a great book. That’s a good one.
Stephanie:
I have to pick that up
Melanie:
I love it – highly recommend it! And then, it’s a simple, book but it’s the “Toa of Pooh.” and it is Taoism from the perspective of Winnie the Pooh, and it just it takes, you know, these characters from our childhood and explains Taoism in just its very simplest terms, and it’s so pure! It’s like, don’t be an Eeyore, right, who complains all the time, right? Just be a piglet that’s always happy. That’s another great one.
Stephanie:
That sounds really cool too, actually! I want to check that one out. I definitely have not read that one or heard of that one! So what is your favorite drink?
Melanie:
So I’m a coffee drinker until it’s time for Cabernet!
Stephanie:
Okay got it and a lot of people are like, “Oh I like coffee a lot!” Actually, a lot of people drink coffee! I didn’t realize how many people actually, you know, need coffee in their life, but that makes sense -coffee in the A.M., Cabernet in the P.M.! Awesome! And what’s your favorite thing to do to relax?
Melanie:
I love music, and if I’m trying to relax, I’ll put in something. I don’t even know the genre anymore… it used to be chill, but it’s like artists like Govinda and Delirium, and just to sit back and just listen and no words no thinking and just listen.
Stephanie:
That’s nice! Yeah – I needed that this morning! Then what is your favorite place to go?
Melanie:
My favorite place to go would be Sedona. Sedona is so beautiful it’s like…
Stephanie:
Gosh… it’s like a vortex like you just feel such a great energy there!
Melanie:
Oh my gosh… yeah! Like, going on this long hike, and then you get to the end, and it’s just beautiful! It’s gorgeous! I love Sedone – favorite place!
Stephanie:
That was a good, good choice. I like that one too. Well thank you so much for joining us today! I really, really, really appreciate it! And thank you everybody for listening! Don’t forget – every week, I do a drawing for a ten dollar Starbucks gift card. If you want to be entered into the weekly drawing, just take a snapshot of the episode, share it, tag me, and tag the guest with a comment to be entered in the drawing. I’m signing off with my favorite quote as always from Dr. Wayne Dyer… ‘Abundance is not something you acquire, it is something you tune into.” So thank you again for listening, and have a great day, have a great week, and have a great life!