Stephanie:
Hello everybody! Thank you for joining me. Today, my bues it Elizabeth Sims. How are you?
Good!
Stephanie:
I’m so glad you’re joining me!
Elizabeth:
Thanks for having me!
Stephanie:
I’m having you on because I have people that inspire me, because this is the Dharma Proeject, which, for me, is just, you know, being your truth… Kind of spreading your truth, right? Inspiring others, right? Because there’s a lot of times where you might see somebody in your life or walk past somebody or whatever you’re like, “Man! They’re always put together!” or, you know, “How do I do that?” So I want to kind of bring that to light and pull that out of the people that inspire me so that they can inspire others. So you npire me because you’re super successful and super smart, and you’re also beautiful, and you’re an amazing mother and an amazing wife. I don’t even know all of the stuff that you do, so we’re here to pick your brain today!
Elizabeth:
OK!
Stephanie:
So how do you kind of balance… I mean, you know, you have a busy business, you know, so tell us a little bit about that.
Elizabeth:
Well, so I don’t always think it’s in balance. So I think it’s most important to know that people that look like they have it all together don’t always have it all together.
Stephanie:
Truth!
Elizabeth:
Yeah! And so sometimes, just rolling with whatever’s thrown your way. I mean, as a mom with just three kids alone, that’s a rollercoaster. And so I think I’m such a type A person, and everything needs to be in its place, and when it’s not and everything has to be scheduled, I stress out. I guess, through all of this, I’ve learned that I can’t control everything. Sometimes the most beautiful things happen when you’re not controlling it.
Stephanie:
Right!
Elizabeth:
So I just have had to let go and let God. I don’t know that I always have it together or look like that I have it together. I mean, friends will tell you, at school will tell you – I’m always the mom calling late saying, “oops! We forgot this at home!”
Stephanie:
Oh good! It’s not just me!
Elizabeth:
Ok great – that’s always, always me. Or “Oh we forgot to turn that in! It it really important?” Because I just feel like those things that re super important obviously, you remember, but the little things with school, it’s like, you know, a big deal! “I forgot my yellow notebook instead of the purple one!” or whatever….
Stephanie:
Right!
Elizabeth:
So I think it’s just more about letting go and not always having it together and being honest about that. I think whenever people see me, the laugh and they say, “Oh here they com again! They’re loud and they’re always late and in the wrong place!” But we’re here, right? We eventually get there.
Stephanie:
I’ve always thought that if anybody ever had even more than one child, like, you never have to have an excuse for literally anything whatsoever! You don’t have to say, “ I’m sorry I’m late. I have two kids… I have three kids…” I don’t even have this many kids and you don’t need an excuse, because you’re literally trying to manage humans, you know?
Elizabeth:
That’s funny you say that, because Colin got me a shirt that says, “I’m sorry I’m late, I have a kid that’s perfect.” I wear it all the time! Yeah! We were going to a travel baseball game, and I read the schedule, and [one of the games] was supposed to be in Hammond, and it was actually in Gulfport! And I happened to have that shirt on that day, and we drove all the way to Hammond. Thankfully, we had to be there an hour early, so we were, you know, already early, and Colin looks and says, “Wait… the gate’s not even open… This is not where the tournament is! This isn’t right – something’s wrong!” All the coaches say, “Oh my God!” And it was Mother’s Day weekend. So I, you know, I do that, and I wear the shirt, and they were all laughing, like, did you plan this? I’m like, “NO – honestly, this is just the shirt I had on!” And I got it all wrong… yeah!
Stephanie:
So it sounds like it’s kind of a little bit of flexibility, but then you also have to manage all these people in all these places, including your own self, right? So is there a core thing, like, is there a certain calendar that you use, or do you have a checklist every day, or what’s – I know it probably varies – but what is the core thing that help you keep somewhat of your sanity and get them to the right place on most of the occasions?
Elizabeth:
You know, for sure have a planner, because I if don’t have my planner, I don’t know where I’m supposed to be. I don’t know who’s supposed to be where, and hopefully, that doesn’t change, because then I sometimes forget to update that, right? Then most importantly, to have a good support structure. You can’t be the be-all-end-all. You have to have good people around you, and so you know, being in a strong marriage where it’s really a partnership, and it’s so huge, and, not, you know, “I do this, and you do that…” it’s, like, “I had today with this and Colin has a meeting at work,” and so to say, “OK, where’s our other support structure?” Having other family members or close friends that can really help out, and say it’s OK to ask for help.
Stephanie:
It takes a village, and that’s huge, because so many people don’t want to ask for the help, and I’m the opposite – I’m like, “Does anyone want to help me? I’ll take it!” You know? But so many people, they just don’t want to ask for the help, and I don’t understand why, because we all need it all the time, you know?
Elizabeth:
Absolutely! And I think it’s important to help those when they need it, but also to offer, you know, when you see somebody struggling, or you know, a mom with five kids… I have a mom that called today and asked if I could take her son to baseball. She said, “I know I’m supposed to be taking them today, but I’m vomiting!”
Stephanie:
Oh gosh!
Elizabeth:
Yeah! Five kids! Her husband was out of town, so I’m like, “Of course!” You know, so those moments where you help out others when they need it so they’re there for you when you need it. Yeah! That shouldn’t always be the reason, but that’s what makes the world go around.
Stephanie:
Well, and I think, don’t judge people, you know what I mean? So like, if you’re in Target or wherever you and see the mom that’s, like losing her mind, don’t judge her! Go over there and try to help her and say, “Hey! You know, it’s totally cool – I can help you for a second!” or whatever. I get it. I’ve been there, you know? I feel like so many people just judge so quickly, whether it’s the mom or the dad, or any situation. Maybe, if we could just put it out there like, “Hey guys@! Let’s not do that! Let’s try something different, “ right? And the funny thing is, we all start out saying, “I will never do _____ with my kid.” That’s the funniest thing you can say! I can’t ever say that, because I’m going to be eating my freaking words!
Elizabeth:
Totally! So much! And now I don’t, because I was that mom when they were little! “Oh, I will never let my kid do that, “ or “I won’t be the one with this screaming kid at the restaurant,” like, I’m not going to do that! I’m totally that person. I just have to be like, you know, this Is my life, right? These are my monkeys, and this is my circus, and I love it. Own it, you know, and laugh with it! If you can’t laugh and enjoy what’s ridiculously funny in the moment, then what’s the point, right?
Stephanie:
Exactly. What’s the point? Exactly!
Elizabeth:
Like, I just say say, whatever it is, it is.
Stephanie:
So awesome. So for work, you’re a nurse practitioner, and you work at Dr. Elizabeth White’s office. You also have North Shore Skin Solutions. So how did you end up being a nurse practition, like, how did that even come and connect with you and just have that happen?
Elizabeth:
SO crazy, long story. I think I have, like, five degrees. That means nothing.
Stephanie:
Oh wow! Okay!
Elizabeth:
Yeah, so I wanted to go to bet school. That’s all I wanted to do. So I met Colin, my husband, in college when we were sophomores in college, and I did internships at the zoo in Jackson. I knew he was going to law school, so he’s the Louisiana boy and I was a Mississippi girl. So I knew he was going to come home, so I applied to LSU’s vet school out of state, and I got waitlisted. So you have to site out a whole year. I was working at the primate center in aids research, and the vet there said, “Oh! I know I can get you in!” But the more I was working, I was like, “Is this really what I want to do?” I loved exotic animals, and I loved doing that part, but those jobs are so few and far between, and I knew I wanted to be a wife and mother, and that job wasn’t going to work out for me. So my mom was a teacher all growing up, and my parents go divorced when I was 13, so she had to come up with a way to support my brother and I. She went back to nursing school when I was in high school, so I watched, you know, all the opportunities that opened up for her, and when I was sitting out, she said, “You know, Elizabeth? Nursing is not a bad career!” And I just kept saying, “I’m not going to wipe anyone’s butt! I don’t want to! I don’t want any of that!” But I didn’t see the flip side of that, so I said, “You know what, mom? I’m going to apply to nursing school and just see!” So I applied in January and got in at LSU, so I went to LSU for three years in nursing school, I already had a bachelor’s degree in biology and chemistry.
Stephanie:
Wow! Four years there!
Elizabeth:
Yeah! So three more years in nursing school. So I graduated from nursing school when Colin graduated from law school. So we got married and started our family, and I always wanted to go on and do more, but again, the most important thing to me was being a wife and a mother. So I kind of put myself on the back burner. After we had our third child, Colin said, and this was when I had on six month old, a one year old, and a two year old,” You’ve got to apply for school!” Several of my friends that were in nursing school were applying, and not getting in, and it was just getting harder and he was like, “ You know, now’s the time!” and just really pushing me, and so I applied thinking, “ I won’t get in…it’s not going to happen. I’ll shut him up. I did it… it’s not the right time…” I kept telling him all of that. Then I got the acceptance letter, because I was like, ok… now I have to do it! It’s real, because you can’t defer. If you defer, they won’t let you sit out for, say, a semester. If you get in, you either have to accept and go or you miss out and have to reapply. And when you reapply and you didn’t take it the first time, they’re probably not going to offer you it the next time. So I did it, and I cried at the very beginning of every semester thinking, “How amd I going to do this?” Because I was working every other weekend in the ER, and then staying home with the kids during the day, and so having to figure out “how am I going to get to school and work in the middle of three kids, six months, one, and two, right? It was very difficult. I just say now that, at that time, it was a blur. I don’t remember much of it. But I would sit with my kids going to bed with my books. I would hide in my closet to study, because it was the only quiet place, right? Luckily, they don’t remember much of it, and that’s good. “Hey mommy, remember when you used to hide in the closet?” or “No one even knew I had a mom!” Colin would take them to the birthday parties, and I missed a lot of those things, because weekends were either working or studying, right? So I finished that in three years, and we moved back to Mandevill. We were living in Lafayett, and II did a preceptorship with Dr. White, and that turned into… “Wow! That’s cool job!” So I never worked for anyone else!
Stephanie:
Oh wow! That’s awesome!
Elizabeth:
She was a great teacher. So it’s really been a cool ride. I’m really glad that he pushed me to do it, because looking back, I probably would have always put myself last, you know,a nd continue to put them first, but what I didn’t realize is that’s really putting them first now, because I can have a schedule where it’s eight to five instead of eleven to eleven, right? In the ER, it was very difficult. So this is way better to be a Good Wife and a month that I could be there for those big moments, especially when I work for a small practice where she’s also a wife and a mother that gets it. It wants you to be able to take off those big things so that’s a huge blessing too so the whole thing really worked out perfectly, but in the moment, I was like, “This is insane!” and when I tell people that, they say, “You are crazy!” And I said yeah I think I probably was.
Stephanie:
That’s awesome! Well, what would you say if someone else wants to become a nurse practitioner? What are one or two tips that you might give them because you know I know it’s a really big deal, and it’s a long program, and it’s not an easy process, and there’s many steps. So it’s probably really scary for someone to take that leap, you know? What kind of advice would you want to share for any new nurse graduates getting experience.
Elizabeth:
Well you have to have some type of experience, because this is a higher level of nursing. As a nurse, you take the doctor’s orders, and you have to say you think well this is on their license, right? So if they mess up, I’m not too worried about it. Will now you’re making those decisions, right? It’s your license, it’s your name, do you really have to have some real world experience to know, because the books teach you a lot, but it’s also several years behind what are new researches. There are new procedures, what do you think about that? Those things are available to think about them, so even the testing for our board certification you have to study diabetes drugs that aren’t even made anymore, because that’s what’s on the board. So without the real world experience, you don’t know. You think , “OK this is all there is out there right now.” But that’s just not the case, so get experience, and then go to school. Going to school really opens the door for so many different things , and go as a family nurse practitioner, because there are several different specialties that you can do, but if you do those and you don’t have extra training you can get extra certification . It’s not required though. So I would say do family medicine. Do it because it’s such a great opportunity, especially I think for women who want to be a wife and mother but want to have some flexibility in your time period it’s such a great field, and the pay is better, so you can work that eight to five and not take a huge pay cut as a nurse.
Stephanie:
I think it’s great that you said to go get the experience, because, you know, speaking of degrees you don’t use, I always thought I was going to be a medical malpractice attorney, and so I literally started out like, “Hey, I’m going to work for a law firm.” I was 18. It was like, “I have to work for a law firm. I will clean your toilets. I don’t care! I need to be in this environment,” right? So that kind of somewhat made me realize, that, you know, I wanted to do trial work. Trial work is 10% of the job, and then you have the other 90%, so I kind of realized those things by going to try to get that real world experience. You might not have figure that out if you were a vet right now and not be happy about it if you hadn’t gone and just tried and gotten that experience, because there’s so many of us that have degrees that we don’t use, right? And I wouldn’t take it back. I’m happy with everything. But at the same time, wouldn’t it be nice to just get it right the first time?
Elizabeth:
You know, it’s funny! Colin always says that we were at Mississippi College for four years and wondered why I didn’t do it then , and I said, “You know, everything happens for a reason.” And I really feel like other than the money part, I would have actually had a real job. This is a job junior or a degree that I couldn’t work in. I couldn’t even teach with a biology degree . You have to have a teacher certificate. I could do nothing except work in research, and so it was challenging, but I think that’s what got me to where I am now. I mean every life experience pushes you one way or the other right? It’s all about which way did you turn right then, and that’s what gets you here. So I don’t regret it. I think it taught me a lot.
Stephanie:
Definitely!
Elizabeth:
Now what I tell my kids to go get 3 degrees? I feel like, you know, I probably would have told them that there’s a lot easier way to do this and to learn from my mistakes. You don’t need four degrees, right?
Stephanie:
Well that’s very cool. So to recap, it sounds like stop, so do you have organization, right, to be able to manage the chaos.
Elizabeth:
Absolutely!
Stephanie:
But then you have to have flexibility to just go with whatever happens, and don’t beat yourself up if you do show up at the wrong place at the wrong time or whatever, you know? Then laugh, because you have to laugh instead of crying. Definitely, try to get some experience if you are thinking you want to go into a certain career path . In this example, it was nurse practitioner. Go try to get some real life experience and make sure that this is something that you will enjoy doing. Very cool. Thank you for sharing that with us. So I have five last questions for you. So what is your favorite podcast or YouTube channel , and why?
Elizabeth:
So I listen to Bobby bones in the morning. It’s a country music radio station, and one of the personalities of the show’s name is Amy Brown. She does “Four Things with Amy Brown,” and it’s a podcast, and she’s just one of those really bubbly, positive, even to say naive a little bit, but you know, her mom had cancer, so the show kind of takes you through that, and it started as this movement call Pimpin’ Joy . It’s all about bringing joy. And they make these T shirts that says Pimpin’ Joy hats, so it’s really just spreading loving kindness and doing kind things for others. She talks a lot about her struggles with her mom, and also her fertility issues, and her and her husband have been unable to have kids. So they’ve adopted from Haiti, and it was this really long process . They chose two children, and it was two or three years before they actually got them. So kind of going through that process with the then and now . They are here now, and she’s a parent with those two children. So those struggles of, you know, all of a sudden, “I’m a parent,” right? She has a teenage girl and a little boy, and you know, all of those kinds of things. She’s such a good role model , and inspiring person to be positive and to share that positivity with others, because you just never know what’s going on in their life , and that one kind comment or act could really make a huge difference.
Stephanie:
Absolutely.
Elizabeth:
I started doing Casa work, because of what Colin does as a prosecutor, and I would get enraged listening to some of these cases of the kids and thinking, OK, well dot dot dot what can I say ? What can I do is one person right you know? I’d love to go get all of them and bring them home, right? But realistically, what can I do right now.
Stephanie:
So explain to me what casa it is.
Elizabeth:
You’re an advocate for these children. You are nonpartisan. You have no dog in the hunt. But your only worry is what’s best for these kids right? And there’s no selfish motive. It’s just like, what is best for that child, and can anybody like you don’t have to be in medicine, you don’t have to be anything . You just have to want to volunteer in this. But you follow this case all the way through, and you’re an advocate for that child. You meet with them, you meet with the parents, you meet with the school, and you give the judge your feelings about what should happen . So I feel like that’s such a cool thing, to be able to impact children in the moment. And be that spokesperson for them when they don’t have a voice. One of my cases was a heroin addicted baby. That baby couldn’t speak for themselves, so to be able to not be their social worker the worker (I’m not their social worker), I just speak for what’s best for them, right? But to be positive and just help one person make that difference is that little thing. You know it could just be a smile in the grocery store . It could be paying for somebody’s coffee behind you that you don’t know.
Stephanie:
Right! Well, and what would you say your favorite book is?
Elizabeth:
So I was thinking about this. I read a lot, and I love to read. It’s kind of my escape after a long day. We our biggest fight is can you stop reading and talk to me? Mind, right this is my meditation, my yoga, my hot bath , you know, my glass of wine dot dotshoot dot whatever. It’s the book right at a stoplight, that’s how I just love reading. But the book, the shack do you ever read it?
Stephanie:
No, but I saw the movie!
Elizabeth:
The book is really way better, and even though I was so moved even by the movie, the books even better. So the story is based on this guy’s name is Mac, and he has five children. He takes some hiking, and there’s an accident on a canoe, and he’s going to help his other two children, one of his daughters is abducted and murdered. He gets a letter from “Papa” to meet him at the shack where his daughter was taken in murdered, so he goes, and long story of God coming to him in his three forms. So God, Jesus, and in the Holy Spirit, in full bodies, and speak to him. Then he wakes up in a hospital and realizes this is all a dream. He was actually in a car accident on the way to the shack.
Stephanie:
I have chills Oh my gosh!
Elizabeth:
I just found it so impactful . I feel like God speaks to us in so many different ways through so many different people, right and it’s just listening to that, right? So if a dad who lost a child in that way can open his heart and mind up to what God has to say even after something horrific like that, we all have room to improve in ways that we need to see God and others. And hear what’s being said and take it in and then use it, right?
Stephanie:
Exactly .
Elizabeth:
You know, not just hear it and throw it away, but really hear it, an implement it, right? Then we need to spread it , right? Be that voice to somebody else that’s maybe going through something. I’ve been through a lot of things in my short life, I should say, that were impactful, so I think that it’s important to own that and say it and not be ashamed or embarrassed by it , but help others in that moment. People would probably look at me and say, she’s never had anything bad happen to her . I just assume, people just assume things , right? They look and see “She’s married she has three kids, she’s not on drugs, she’s not…” whatever, but you don’t know until you walked in my shoes, right? What I’ve been through, and there’s a lot of people like that, right? Share. Just ask! That way we can learn, right question ask and listen, because if they’ve been there they can give you real life advice.
Stephanie:
Exactly.
Elizabeth:
You know, I always love… I’m a Catholic, and I’m very strong in my faith, but I love when people say, “You should go to your priest and get marriage counseling.” And I’m like… Hmmm… that’s interesting… a priest with marriage counseling. A priest who’s never been married, right? Giving marriage counseling. Like, a priest is great for a lot of different advice, but I don’t know if marriage counseling is the right thing. You can’t physically understand or give advice or sympathize or empathize where that person is coming from unless you’ve been there, right? So I’ve never lost a child, I don’t know what that feels like, but I see patients all the time who I have to tell, “I am so sorry,” right? But I don’t know what that feels like. How do I help you? Because I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what you need. But I want to help. Maybe this is TMI, maybe I shouldn’t , but we’re all about truth, right? So in high school I attempted suicide. I remember reaching out to adults at school and saying, you know, “this was a really bad choice.” You know, I got caught up in the moment and thought, you know as a teenager, you have no friends, right? You don’t realize that this is real. I kept saying “I’d like to share that,” and no one ever took that and allowed me to do that.
Stephanie:
Yah, and they probably wouldn’t listen. They should have said, “please do!” Because they hadn’t been there. But as an adult, it’s different than a teenager saying, “Hey I did that, and I didn’t know or should have realized the difference or whatever…” It would have been great if they allowed you to bring that to light.
Maybe if we just had a student body That was not even led by the adults, but, you know before the suicide prevention became this big movement, I remember thinking, because I was a cheerleader on homecoming court, but I had some real internal struggles, I don’t know, I just felt like maybe I could help one person, right? They didn’t take me seriously then, and I thought, I’m not gonna be quiet.
Stephanie:
Good!
Elizabeth:
I’m not going to be ashamed of this. It was a really bad choice, but I’m not going to be ashamed of it I’m going to talk to whoever will talk to me about it, right, I’ll tell them there are other options, and then come full circle, when we were 21, brother committed suicide.
Stephanie:
Oh my gosh!. So to walk through that and see what could have been…see what you would have put your family through…
Elizabeth:
Oh – It was very impactful. It was like watching from the outside. What it does to the people you leave behind, right? I just feel like if people were more honest and just owned it and say, “I’m not proud of this, right? But I have real scars, right? I’m a real human. I make mistakes.”
Stephanie:
And I think the whole thing is like for anyone to be more authentic. You know, not so polished all the time, not so “re-record, because you messed up” or whatever , just show up with your messed up or show up late or whatever, don’t give an excuse, who cares, you know? “This morning I didn’t feel like getting up ’cause I was freaking cleaning up cute for my kid until two,” or whatever, or just kind of talk through things. Just talk about things. I was watching this movie The other day with Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston . They were also with Nicole Kidman. And they were all being so fake to each other period they knew each other in high school, and then it was just all fake. One up this, what up that, we like, we like, we live. Well one of them just comes clean, and she spells it all out. Then the other one spells it all out. It was so real, and there like more ? Now we can literally be real and see what the truth is. We’re not just this perfect person. Screw perfection ! Let’s just be real honest and authentic and talk about our struggles.
Elizabeth:
And sometimes that gets me in trouble, you know, because this probably sounds terrible, but if you’ve wronged me or my children in some way, you’ll know it, right?
Stephanie:
Oh yeah! That’s not a bad thing! I like to know where I stand with somebody. I would rather know that from the get go. I physically can’t take it it doesn’t even work for me. I don’t have the face for it!
Elizabeth:
This sounds crazy, but yes I do Botox, but my closest friends say “It doesn’t help. You still have that face! I know when you’re mad!” It’s OK if not everybody likes you, and if you’re not everything to everyone, but if you’re something to someone, that’s all that matters. I’m winning!
Stephanie:
Yes! Well thank you for joining me in helping my truth or spreading . I’m gonna finish up with one of my favorite quotes from doctor Wayne Dyer, because he’s just so awesome. Abundance is not something you acquire, it’s something you tune into. So I’d love to leave everybody with that, and also if you would not mind taking a screenshot of the podcast, sure the episode, tag us on social media, I do it drawing every week for a $10 Starbucks gift card. So thank you again for joining us! Have a great day , a great week, and a wonderful life.